1.31.2006

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

i don't know why, but this is so awesome.

via defective yeti:

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure
Revision 88 / Serial number 54892

Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.

There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.

What do you want to do now?

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.

> PET SEAL
It's not that kind of seal.

> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton's shoes.

> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton's shoes.

> EXAMINE DESK
It is a large, oak desk, with several drawers.

In one drawer you find a bag of pretzels.

> EAT PRETZEL.
I don't think the pretzel would agree with you.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> GO RIGHT
Far-Right
You are on the far right of the political spectrum.
Jesse Helms is here.
John Ashcroft is here.

> GO RIGHT
Radical Right
You are on the extreme right of the political spectrum.
Dick Cheney is here.
Pat Robertson is here.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> TAKE VACATION
Taken.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 58% out of a possible 100%.

> GO PHOTOOP
Photo Op
You are at a the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, along with a gaggle of obsequious members of the mainstream media.
There is a book here.
There are some children here.

> READ BOOK
You read "My Pet Goat."

In the distance, terrorists attack the United States.

> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."

> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."

> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."

> GO HOME
You fly around aimlessly for a while, then return to the White House.

Oval Office

> GIVE SPEECH
Who do you want to give the speech to?

> AMERICAN PEOPLE
You give the speech to the American people.

> DIAGNOSIS
Your favorablity rating is 84% out of a possible 100%.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> INVADE AFGHANISTAN
Afghanistan
You have invaded the nation of Afghanistan, bombing the Taliban nearly out of existence.

Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, is here.

> INVADE IRAQ
(Leaving Afghanistan first.)
You are not able to do that, yet.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> FUCK
Such language in a high-class establishment like this!

> HYPE THREAT
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

> MONGER FEAR
"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud ..."

> MUDDY WATER
"We know that Iraq and the al Qaeda terrorist network share a common enemy -- the United States of America. We know that Iraq and al Qaeda have had high-level contacts that go back a decade. And we know that after September the 11th, Saddam Hussein's regime gleefully celebrated the terrorist attacks on America ..."

> PUNISH CRITICS
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction ... "

> RAILROAD CONGRESS
You schedule a vote on the Iraq invasion for just before the 2002 midterm elections. As usual, spineless democrats roll over like an SUV taking a sharp corner.

Your plan to invade Iraq now has the backing of the American people and Congress.

> INVADE IRAQ
Baghdad
You enter the Iraqi capital of Bagdad, having toppled the government and captured the nation's key cities in only 21 days. You can't seem to find the promised throngs of citizens greeting you as liberators, but the footage of the Saddam statue being pulled down looks great on Fox!

> GIVE CONTRACTS
Who do you want to give the contracts to?

> HALLIBURTON
What kind of contracts do you wish to give to Halliburton?

> NO-BID
You give the no-bid contracts to Halliburton.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

> WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
You put on the flightsuit.

> SAY "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
"Mission accomplished."

> EXAMINE MISSION
The mission is not accomplished.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

Some insurgents arrive.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

Some insurgents arrive.
There is a small number of insurgents here.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

Some insurgents arrive.
There is a medium number of insurgents here.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

An election year arrives.

> GO LEFT
Far-Right
Pat Buchanan is here.
Sean Hannity is here.

> GO LEFT
Compassionate Conservativism
You are right-of-center on the political spectrum.
John McCain is here.
Joseph Leiberman is here.

> GET REELECTED
You get reelected.

> GO RIGHT
Far-Right
Tom DeLay is here.
Michelle Malkin is here.

> GO RIGHT
Radical Right
Rick Santorum is here.
Ann Coulter is here.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

Some insurgents arrive.
There is a large number of insurgents here.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

Some insurgents arrive.
There is a huge number of insurgents here.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.

Some insurgents arrive.
There is an overwhelming number of insurgents here.

> SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 47% out of a possible 100%.

> ADMIT MISTAKES
You are unable to admit mistakes.

> ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
You are unable to accept responsibility.

> DECLARE VICTORY
I do not know what you mean by "victory."

> QUIT
Oh, how we wish you would.

1.30.2006

tag-a-long (no girl scouts here!)

china
i know, not an art slide, but i haven't scanned any more in at present! (i'm a procrastinator like that.) in any case, here's anthony at the ten thousand buddha's monastery in sha tin, hong kong.

i was tagged by bethie! very exciting! most! by the way, i tag {STAR}. : )

1. When you made your sex video with Paris Hilton, was the dog present?
of course the nubile dog was present! i filmed paris and her dog together in a glamorous crystal bathtub.

2. Would you rather have a piece of Mr. T's Bling or one of Flava Flav's clocks? Keep in mind they are of equal street value.
holy crap. are you serious? i didn't even know these things EXISTED before now. not sure how i feel about that. let's just put it out there that i'm the girl who unknowingly says, "mister p."

3. When was the moment you realized you were in love with Fox Mulder?
oh, hello, teacup.

4. You're faced with a choice: Riverdance or Gretchen Wilson. What to do?
riverdance! years of foot binding have left me nimble and lithe.

5. You're stopped in traffic. There is a guy and a girl having a not-terribly heated argument in the car next to yours. What are they fighting about?
the best way to remove the boyfriend's toe, whose nail fungus is growing in the shape our lord and savior, jesus h christ, which they wish to sell on ebay.

6. Elton John has already stabbed Rod Stewart and George Michael in the back. Is the Queen next?
i'm hoping for a literal stabbing of the pres.

7. Re-cast The Breakfast Club with current Film stars that don't make you barf.
well, i'll just list a few stars i don't like... since i'm not good with actors. (though i totally love the breakfast club.) george clooney. mandy moore. jennifer aniston. matt damon.

8. It's Like This and Like That and Like This....discuss.
i love it! you'll love it! it's totally you and your color (you are a summer, right?) and it fits the scheme of your house, your wedding colors, your car, your pets and your baby's diaper rash. perfect for any and all makes and models, won't disintegrate condoms and contains less sugar than a lemon. buy yours today for only 614 easy payments of $102.30 - send payments via paypal NOW!

9. Who blinded you with Science?
mister wizard - all the way. that styrofoam fish? classic.

10. Paul Reubens. Yes or No?
yes!

1.27.2006

Thank you for your application to Library & Information Science for Summer 2006 at the University of South Florida. Your information has been forwarded to the College and program for a decision.

ugh

i can't even begin to say how insanely happy i am to have left my old department at work.

1.26.2006

meeting marvelous madge!

i'm sitting in bed, half-asleep, with my boyfriend's laptop (he's stolen my computer from me to finish a deadline to design a shirt for his band). typing by the light of the screen and the BIG STREETLIGHT ACROSS THE WAY. not that it's frustrating in any way, oh, no. maybe i should get thick curtains. i'm just scared my yammie cat will claw them down - she's definitely the adventurous one.

tonight i got to meet a super cool/cute blogger whom i've been stalking ever since she next-blogged me! madge! seriously, she's as cute as her photo. we had some girlfriend sweatshop fun with jen, rachel & star wherein we ate yummy gelato and spoke of fake breasts. the idea tonight was to make this neat paper dragon, but once we realized how teeny-tiny the actual paper dragon was... we decided to wait until we had x-acto knives on hand. the pictures made it look so huge!

peeps should definitely try your hand at it - this saturday is the lunar new year eve! i'll be at anthony's show that evening and then my parents for sunday and good food. maybe even some lucky red envelope money?? :D

1.23.2006

halloween slide
slide by..? remind me, guys!

well, i've finally posted all the slides from halloween that i scanned in. my new goal is to finish scanning the rest and get them up here, one by one. star & rachel have some incredible layered ones i am exceedingly excited about.

(i bought nice brushes!)

candy hearts!

awww.... i stole this from sleep goblin who stole it from spinning girl. mwahahahaha! the internet creates thieves of us all.

by the way, star introduced me to la casa dolce down in hyde park! it's across from macdintons or something. GELATO! 2 floors of cute cafe goodness. little study nooks with cute lights you can adjust for your lighted study pleasure. apparently the second floor has a fireplace, but my forgetful self didn't make it up there. too busy eating and knitting! nocciola (hazelnut) and baccio ("kiss" - chocolate hazelnut)!! :D~~~

those emoticons crack me up.

read even more about pure dolphin love here.

AND, i was tagged by madgie!

4 jobs i've had:

* sibling tooth puller
* server
* server
* claims processor

4 places i've lived:

* peng san, china (one hot farmy summer, long ago)
* fort myers, fl
* atlanta, ga
* tampa, fl

4 movies i could watch over and over:

* clue
* garden state
* amelie
* the predator (seriously, i don't even know why)

4 tv shows i watch (currently on air)
uhhh......... i don't have cable. not even faux 4-channel cable. we'll stick with tv shows that anthony and i own.

* buffy the vampire slayer
* angel
* the office (bbc)
* mst3k

4 places i've been on vacation:

* hong kong
* italy
* australia
* other misc european countries

4 websites i visit daily:

* gmail.com
* bloglines.com
* google.com
* blogs. many. many. blogs.

4 of my favorite foods:

* sushi
* pavlova
* flan
* breadless buffalo wings (it's a sickness)

4 places i'd rather be right now:

* florence
* hong kong
* chicago
* in bed with anthony, thomas & yam (my two cats, you sickos)

4 bloggers i am tagging:

* sleep goblin
* bethie beth
* meaghan gee
* finnie

1.22.2006

my friend michie sent this to me recently:



JONATHAN MILLER

It sure wouldn't be Christmas without the trees strapped to the tops of SUVs. It sure wouldn't be Christmas without crowded parking lots and lines at the cash register. It sure wouldn't be Christmas without a month of the same music year after year wafting its way down the aisles of the supercenter or the shopping mall or the grocery store. And it sure wouldn't be Christmas without the specter of some kind of Grinch who is out to spoil the holiday fun.

As a rabbi, I don't celebrate Christmas. Christmas celebrates the miraculous virgin birth of Jesus, the Messiah of all the earth. Jews don't believe that Jesus is the Messiah of all the Earth, and neither do Muslims or Buddhists or Hindus or atheists nor any of the other people in our country who are not Christians. Even the Eastern Orthodox Church, a large part of the Christian world, does not celebrate Christmas on Dec. 25. So Christmas, although it is ubiquitous here in America, is not universally observed.

That doesn't mean I don't like Christmas. I do, really. I like the lights, the food and the return of hope and promise that permeates our society. I enjoy listening to some of the less campy Christmas music. I even smile as I find myself humming Christmas melodies. Even as I watch from the sidelines as everyone scurries around to get everything in place for their perfect Christmas day, most people have good cheer and hopeful spirits, and they share that with everyone. And I like that, I really do.

But this year, I have turned on the television and the radio and read about Christmas in the newspapers, and I have learned that suddenly I, because I don't celebrate Christmas have become this year's Grinch. I don't like being the Grinch. I really don't.

It seems that some of the more mean-spirited people in our society are picking on people who don't celebrate Christmas. After all, what is Christmas without a Grinch? These Grinch hunters take great offense at the people in the stores who tell their customers to have a happy holiday without specifically mentioning Christmas. They feel as though we non-Christmas celebrators are removing the baby Jesus from our society. But we haven't done anything new. Last year we non-Christians didn't celebrate Christmas. And next year, no matter how much hollering there is, I don't suspect that we will be celebrating Christmas even then.

That doesn't mean that we don't like Christmas. It means that we don't celebrate Christmas. The non-Christians I know are rooting for Christmas. Deck your halls, by all means. Put up your lights and your mistletoe, enjoy your hats and stuff your stockings, be generous to the people you love and to the poor among us. Open your hearts to the joy and the hope that your belief brings you, and let some of that joy and hope permeate your lives all year long. What a blessing you will be as good Christians to all of us! Only don't make me your Grinch.

I am not at all offended if some store clerk wishes me a "Merry Christmas," and neither should anyone be. I know these people are wishing good things for me, because Christmas is good for them. I have taught my children to say, "Thank you" to those who wish us a Merry Christmas. But what could possibly be offensive about anyone wishing anyone else "Happy Holidays?" Christians know that means Christmas. And others know that means, "Even if you happen to be different from me, I wish you the very best at the festive season." Those are hardly fighting words. They actually seem like Christian words. These words should represent the Christmas spirit that all Christian believers cherish. Even a true Grinch (not me?) would be offended by someone saying, "Happy Holidays." A true Grinch would be offended by anyone saying happy
anything.

Like some of you, I am concerned that there is not enough Jesus in Christmas. I am also concerned that there is not enough Jesus in Christianity. I am concerned this year that non-Christians are made to be society's enemies. I can't believe that Jesus would endorse this view. I am concerned that some Christians see their numerical majority as the right to bully the rest of us. I can't believe that Jesus would endorse this view.

Jesus was kind and was open and was generous in spirit. At least that's the way I have experienced him through the eyes of many Christians who have shared their faith with me. And those Christians, I have learned, don't need a megaphone to make their faith known.

If these media bullies are really concerned about Jesus and Christmas, let them call to task those churches which plan to be closed this morning because too many Christians will choose to stay home to open their presents. Let them call to task those who buy for themselves and take for themselves, but who do not share enough from their bounty with those in need. Let them emulate Jesus' generosity of spirit, which, curiously, they seem to lack this year.

Christians, please bring Jesus back to Christmas. And if this wish makes me your Grinch, well I guess that is the burden that I bear for you.

And I do it with love.

soy to the max

oh god.

too much tofu.

feeling sick.




::rumble:: ::gurgle::

never have an entire block of tofu with peanut sauce for breakfast.

i'm just gonna.
lay.

down.


and groan.

1.16.2006

erika, can i suck on your beads?

robot city
slide by me

so................ ............. .............................................................................

feeling pretty relaxed, kinda out of it, wishing i had more sweet spumanti. also wishing my cramping uterus would kindly walk wriggle 15, maybe 25 yards away from my body to commence its painful kneading.

the weekend past was so wonderful, in so many ways.
a. 3 day weekend.
b. 2 day long GFSS (girlfriend sweatshop).
c. greek grits casserole.
d. chocolate fondue.
e. $32 spent on mohair yarn.
f. 2nd "office (bbc)" marathon
g. illicit bead store visits.

erika, me, meaghan & virginia. in gainesville. knitting and watching the office. eating, eating, eating. then eating some more. lots of excellent coffee to keep our energy cells fully charged. going to bed late, sleeping in. did i mention eating? mmm... brownie brick. brick o' brownie. boy gossip. boy advice. wine. champagne. mimosas. erika learning how to rim a martini glass. my bead sucking fetish. meaghan's insane cooking skills. virginia's genetic lack of toes.

ok, i made that last one up. she's got cute toes, but i bet the lack of said toes would make a great ice breaker at parties.

i broke out my film camera and took a few photos, mainly of meaghan's babies, lucy & junie. hopefully they come out - the black and white film i used has sorta expired. like, in 2004. oopsie? yea, it's been a while. or maybe i already ordered it that way from bhphoto... hmm... doubtful. in any case, trying to think in black and white is effing hard when you've only shot in color for soso long. we'll see how they come out in 2 months when i scrape up the cash to develop them. ... huh. or maybe i can develop them myself... does developer ever expire?

let me check the container. nevermind. it's gone. just stopbath & photo-flo. argh.

1.11.2006

regional assembly of text


regional assembly of text
Originally uploaded by poppytalk.
well, apparently, this is behind the counter of a store that is in vancouver, canada.

i am in love. i have a few boxes like this, garnered from thrift store outings, but i think that this is what i'm going to have to go for next.

WALL O' BOXES.

metal, of course, and nothing kinky! get yer minds out of the gutters!

1.09.2006

chopsticks

i love that anthony will make me lunch, even when he stays up till 3 am and has to drive me to work at 8 am.

and that he packs chopsticks with my salad, because i love eating my salads with chopsticks and he remembers even when i, myself, never remember to do so.

1.08.2006

happy (belated) new year!

caged
slide by jen

happy new year!

hmmm... rather belated, naturally. how did i ring in this new year of 2006? has it been that long already? my mom was right... the years are just flying by. i got to spend time with family for the new year. my mom & dad finally flew in on the 29th of january after a bit of a scare/delay on the 24th. now they are a mere 2 hours away. ah... relief. and after seeing him i feel much better, even though he was insanely tired and getting weird side effects from his medicines. i sometimes am affected by weird panic alert moments. when i scamble and wonder
. o O (where's my phone!? what if my mom's called? where's my phone?!)
i've been in a panic mode since.... mid-november, i believe. was that when it all occurred? end of november?
::heavy sigh of relief::
and i was able to see erika and vince (who gave me the most kickin' wustoff knife set for christmas!).

::RESOLUTIONS::
  • learn mandarin (almost the same as last year, except last year was cantonese)
  • keep craft room clean and operational
  • do more art
  • do more craft
  • do more photography
  • do more illustration
    • is this too much? i am doomed to failure already?
      • i hope not
  • eat healthy
  • work out more
  • buy more clothes
  • buy more shoes
  • learn to invest
  • vacuum more
  • go camping with craig in the ocala forest
    • ok, that last one wasn't really a resolution *teehee*
    • hi craig!
then for the new year, anthony and i got to take a few days off! it was soso lovely. days of sleeping in and breakfasts and meandering and shopping and spending of our christmas gift certificates. lots of space ghost coast to coast, harvey birdman: attorney at law, the new buffy box set and the office (bbc version). can i say that the office is so completely awesome? it was almost too much at times to listen to david brent - he was driving me to drink (chianti, thanks saad!).

last night was la creperia with rachel & lisa, inadvertently ran into star & david. went to mema's. saw memoirs of a geisha, which was pretty good. i did feel that they either should have had the movie in fluent japanese or has um, more training on english for their asian actors. it felt stilted and inauthentic because of the heavily accented voices. then again, as anthony noted, they used a lot of chinese actors despite the storyline being in japan, so whatever. gotta love the movie industry.

oh, and saw king kong, which i also enjoyed. man, these holidays were a time for movie-watching. sideways (eh... not so great, except for the part where sandra oh smashes one of the character's faces in with her bike helmet!). the merchant of venice. indiana jones & the last crusade. read 'the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.' not bad.

ho hum, ho hum... saw a hockey game. maybe i'll post pictures. tampa lightning vs the boston bruins. i got a monster bag of cotton candy!!

ooo! oo! i am also working on my graduate application! i was going to send it tonight, but my car registration is in my car, which is at rachel's house. argh! so it will have to be sent monday evening.

and with that, i go to bed. it is 11:30 and i have to work tomorrow. as you can imagine, i am looking forward to it with all of my heart. all of my joys, all of my hopes... ... fuck, well, hello chianti!