straight up

back from a lovely vacation in new york and on my second to last day at work.

yesterday, bleary-eyed and befuddled from getting into tampa at 11:30 pm (1:30 am bedtime), i opened my car door to head to work.  late, naturally - it's a wonder i was able to get up after going to bed at an ungodly hour.

what should greet me, but the retreating end of a scrabbling 1.5 inch roach headed under the driver's seat.



i took anthony's car.


last night i bought a roach hotel and set it under the seat.  this morning, i gingerly got in after inspecting the car (mostly) thoroughly and drove to work, stiff and clenched.

almost there, i see the dry winged thing.  marching, trundling, all straight legged and slowly on the floor of the passenger seat, headed to the darkness underneath.  i move all my items from the passenger seat to my lap, loudly humming strains of the 1812 overture over and over and over.

i park in the sun ("i'll fry the sucker if i don't kill it now") and jump out.  i settle my belongings on my person and work up the courage to open the passenger door to see if i can kill it.  hmm...  how far do i want to lean in?  not that far....


SUDDENLYHOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHITIT'SONMYGODDAMNEDLEG!!!


*INSERT OPERATIC SCREAM, A JUMP AND A FULL BODY WIGGLE*


*STOMPSTOMPSTOMP*



today can only go up, my friends.