it's been... a while.

to say the very least.

i'm one of those people who waffles back and forth between choices for far too long. "do i keep blogger? do i switch to wordpress? tumblr? let's try them all out and then never use any of them."

have you tried that tumble interface? it's lovely. it's a beautiful way to browse and reminds me (in a small small way) of google reader. a way to follow/subscribe to other tumblr accounts, to repost with comments, to "like" a post, but no way to group them into folders (at least, not w/ the tumblr app).

in any case, i'll be around. here, there, catch me when you can. one day i'll make up my mind.

one thing that's been keeping me intrigued is the app 'sleep cycle'. you place it on the bed while you sleep, and it monitors your sleep cycles, waking you at your most opti-magical time so that you're more refreshed and can pop out of bed quickly in the morning. this worked exactly once for me, sadly - though it may also have to do with me going to bed at ungodly hours.
i'm thinking of using it to try and see when i get the best sleep, and how i can continue to get good sleep. the filter on the far right says "drank a LOT of coffee", which is anything over my 1 large 14-20 oz coffee each morning. whoops.
this information must be taken with a grain of salt, of course, since anthony will sometimes come to bed later than me, and the movement of our cats could also interfere with the phone's data (if not always my sleep).   let's hope that i can get a better schedule set in the coming year.



Update once clean. Motivation HOOOOOOOOooooooo!




this morning, i woke up a whole 6 minutes earlier than i usually do! was able to spend that time stretching, as i'm attempting to try this get-up-early-and-exercise thing. i'll have to definitely work at going to bed at a decent hour.

i just revel so much in staying up late, procrastinating. the wee hours are so lovely. *sigh*


candy bars

as an aside, if looking for possible new music or wishing to contribute - all money from sales of music, physical or otherwise, will go towards ryan's wife and daughter.


a friend passed away last friday. 

i woke to the news on saturday morning; it was storming, as only the late summer can storm.  a lazy 9 am and so dark it felt like an evening nap with the sounds of rain and thunder.

anthony came in with the news and i woke fully, completely shocked.

we'd just spent time with him, his wife, and their ridiculously adorable 6 month old baby the tuesday before.  i remember thinking, that was great!  we should hang out more often!  because we don't travel much in the same circles, you see.

i remember having delicious italian dinners with him as our server, laughing a lot, drinking wine on the house.  he could speak chinese far better than me.  he enjoyed researching topics he found interesting; and i'd run into him every once in a while at the downtown library.  at one point in our lives, we even went on a few lunch dates, talked on the phone in the evenings.  we drifted apart, and saw each other at the occasional show.

when he met his wife and they got married after 5 months, the same year anthony and i tied the knot (2008), i thought - "that was fast!"  and seeing their lives together in pictures, on facebook, on her blog, in person - holy cow, they were perfect for one another.  so smitten with each other. 

i'm just struck (stricken?) - with the quickness with which life can be taken away, the unfairness of it all, the grief of his family, the incredulity and repeating strangeness of realizing someone is no longer around, someone who had been familiar on facebook, or instagram, or in general life peripheries. 


life can be so very short - be kind to one another. relax. enjoy yourselves.


"I love a mindful green tea ritual once a day."

isn't that just an atrocious sentence?



so. things. life.

it's going pretty well. nothing crazy coming up to startle or bite.

i've had at least 1 photo shoot a month for the last few months. not too shabby. my brother was able to be my second shooter for a wedding and IT WAS AMAZING. i don't think i want to shoot a wedding w/o him (or another second shooter) again. it was almost relaxing to have a backup that i trusted, and we worked really well together.

a friend's boss was going through his old photo equipment a few months back and i was able to buy a 3 strobe light set for $75! 1 lightstand, 2 umbrellas, 3 strobes. $75 bucks. from what i can see, a similar rig would cost at least $1000. admittedly, i did also buy a set of pocketwizard light remotes, which would enable me to use the strobes without the possibility of damaging my camera... which were about $500, BUT, they were something i wanted to use with wedding photography anyways, so... win win? i still end out ahead!

i was able to set it up for ant's birthday party and we HAD A BLAST.
only thing i need to work on is some kind of remote trigger holder; i have a wireless remote, but it's tiny and could be easily lost at a party. need to somehow make a holder for it - it's rad to be able to let guests handle it themselves. (or little kids. scarlett LOVES taking photos of herself and i appreciate the fact that she's not trying to be a little princess in every picture; she makes crazy monster faces and contorts herself into odd poses - her pictures are amazing!)

other items of note.... got a haircut, had red tips dyed on the ends, got a new job. did i ever mention that here? in any case, it's SO MUCH better than my last job. still in a cubicle, but it's bearable for now. am intrigued by a shipwreck researcher position that madge sent me. reminder: follow up on that tomorrow.

agenda for this weekend, another photo shoot, a friend's kid's birthday party, and a LOT of photo editing.


***  update:  derp.  ignore me.  ***

Anyone been getting weird blog posts from me?

I use byline and I'm seeing really strange image posts on my blog of asian girls.

... Just me?!


i'm starting to develop eco guilt.  sometime soon, i don't doubt that i'll become one of those people who needs to get coffee in their own reusable cups (though generally i try to make it at home since it's cheaper), or will always carry around clean tupperware for food from the work cafeteria so i don't have to use foam throw-away containers.


that's right.  i have < 10 emails in my inbox and < 5 starred items.
i. am. GOLDEN.
this is the half-year of Doing Things.
i've been feeling ridiculously productive now that my back isn't giving me crazy pain.  amazing how far a little good health will take you.  my current chiropractor, who causes no pain at all during adjustments, is just sublimely fantastic (previous chiropractor, YOU SUCK). 
current rainy deluge music: caspian



am renting a 2k lens for a benjamin in july.


must... not... spend...  $500 on a pair... of... boots...

but talk to me when (if?) i get my bonus. 

camper shoes have a 2 year warranty, why do i doubt that cydwoq wouldn't?  may need to take a trip out to a retailer in st. pete.  you know.  just to try them on.  just to see.  that's all.

then again, i'm composing a list of photography equipment to buy to further my little company.  c'mon, kim.  think straight, here.  cold shower.


am developing a strong love of tripels. (tripel?  tripel beers?  tripel ales?)
have spent the last 5 nights on my computer, doing quite a bit of photo editing.
have learned that i love natural light photography and that i need to work on using flash and strobes.
have strong desires to 1) buy more clothes, 2) buy more shoes, 3) buy a new computer and 4) buy a lot of expensive photo equipment.
new shoe obsession: cydwoq. 
terrible name, no?  but i utterly drooled over these shoes in new york.  they're handmade shoes!  fancy women's shoes and for some reason especially, fancy men's shoes, make my heart flutter.  they're just so drop-dead, damn sexy.  is it that they're so narrow and svelte?  the stitching?  i'll have to ponder over their site a few more hours and figure this out...


like a moth, i'm attracted to bright, shiny objects.


feeling a little low at present.

have had crazy bad back pain recently and was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease.  say what?  it's the term for "normal" wear and tear, but it still sounds terrible, no?

the space between my last vertebrae and my sacrum is very tiny.  i'll be spending the next 6 weeks doing some physical therapy to try and widen the gap and lessen the disc pressure that's giving me muscle spasms.  *le sigh*

just... feeling old.

but getting photo session contacts and feeling excited about photography again, which is a good thing.


Things I don't know:

What the hell I'm doing.


straight up

back from a lovely vacation in new york and on my second to last day at work.

yesterday, bleary-eyed and befuddled from getting into tampa at 11:30 pm (1:30 am bedtime), i opened my car door to head to work.  late, naturally - it's a wonder i was able to get up after going to bed at an ungodly hour.

what should greet me, but the retreating end of a scrabbling 1.5 inch roach headed under the driver's seat.

i took anthony's car.

last night i bought a roach hotel and set it under the seat.  this morning, i gingerly got in after inspecting the car (mostly) thoroughly and drove to work, stiff and clenched.

almost there, i see the dry winged thing.  marching, trundling, all straight legged and slowly on the floor of the passenger seat, headed to the darkness underneath.  i move all my items from the passenger seat to my lap, loudly humming strains of the 1812 overture over and over and over.

i park in the sun ("i'll fry the sucker if i don't kill it now") and jump out.  i settle my belongings on my person and work up the courage to open the passenger door to see if i can kill it.  hmm...  how far do i want to lean in?  not that far....




today can only go up, my friends.




faux google reader, let's DO THIS

so, i'm bowing to pressure and will be using google plus a bit more, mostly in order to recreate a google reader/buzz experience.  it will still be a pain to switch between the two, but let's see how it goes, yes?  because i really miss you all!
process:  i created a "faux google reader" group of those who used to share on reader.  then, when i go to the home area, i can filter my view to only see this "faux google reader" group.  TA DA.
so expect me to post a bit more to plus.  not sure if i'll post to all friends, or just the faux group.  anyone know if google reader has a good app available?  i use byline, which i love, but i don't think it shares items in plus.  oh, technology.  oh, first world problems. 
... maybe i DO need to charge that tablet back up.  well, fuckity.

things i miss

shared items on google reader.  and google buzz, surprisingly.
















some comments on hard lotion

may have used too much beeswax - this stuff is HARD.  having to scrape it out using the backs of my nails and/or a guitar pick.
it does soften up ok on the fingers and keeps hands moisturized.  or maybe not so much moisturized as... protected in a very waxy manner.
used a bit on my legs/ankles since they get rather dry and in the shower last night, found it difficult to scrub off.  oops!
next time, more shea butter/coconut oil, i think.



in the last two weeks, i've gone running - not once, but twice
i know, i'm a rockstar.  BOOM.
or a masochist.
don't ask me why, but i've actually *felt* like going running lately.  then again, i'm only going for about 15 minutes at a time.  and, to be honest, i'm doing a hell of a lot more walking than running, most likely.
the first time was on a monday.  1 mile.  15 minutes.  i was sore until friday.  FRIDAY.  pretty pathetic, even with stretching out.
the second time was this past sunday.  1.2 miles.  15 minutes.  just a little sore today, but what still really hurts are the arches of my feet.  i'm trying this new (to me) way of running and it's definitely easier on the body.  it also bothers me less in that my glasses don't bounce all over my face as much.  and it feels better once you get the hang out of it.  i had to practice a little bit - during the first run i'd tried to do it, but couldn't envision it; i couldn't get my body to understand what i wanted to do.  when i re-read the article in the new york times, i did some of the practices that it references to ready your body and they helped a lot.
confession:  even now, i have running fears.  thinking about them gets my heart rate up and my palms get all cold clammy.  i've never been a runner.  and to my knowledge, i've never slammed face first into the pavement while on a run, but that's one of my biggest running fears.  i'm running, then suddenly i don't lift my foot high enough and say, the toe of my shoe skips along the pavement, causing my body to slam into the sidewalk.  and then my mind references those vibram shoes and i can almost feel how my toes could catch underneath me, again, causing me to fall.  it's the little moment, the toes catching on the pavement that really get me.  let's hope it's not prophetic.


The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. You know, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice, and yet you spend more time with them then you do your friends or your family. But probably all you've got in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for 8 hours a day.
- Tim Canterbury


stupidly, i stayed up until 1 am last night.
amazingly, i am at work.
i'm working, but the bare minimum.  my poor body is very unhappy with me today.  (in fact, i just zoned out for 10 seconds there, just staring and listening to a co-worker's short phone conversation.)
i was baking another 3 layer cake for a work party and watching season 2 of the office (uk) - and when i was done, of COURSE i just had to finish that last christmas special episode.  i mean, you can't just stop in the middle like that.  *le sigh* 
and you know what totally wakes you up, widens your eyes, and stops you from getting back into bed for a snooze-a-thon?  charging your phone in the kitchen, trudging out to turn off the alarm....  and stepping in cold hairball mixture.  truly, that shit will wake you straight up.  i suppose i can thank wash for my being at work today.  physically, at least.
at work at present, i'm just waiting.  waiting to start a big project in a bit that will have me training people and working on something totally different from databases and numbers.  that's what i'm hoping, at least.  in the meantime, to keep my spirits up, i think i'll work on my resume, just in case.  just in case i snap.


things i'm ridiculously excited about:

my wireless keyboard!

wireless AND has the 10-key number pad AND is solar powered. take that, battery conglomerates! IN YOUR FACE!

combined with the might of my touchpad, i'm golden. or will be. once it's shipped and all set up.

little things, my friends. little things.


bedroom, as shown by roomle
Just made some hard lotion, supposedly good for eczema and dry skin. Also, naturallymagiallyantibiotic, or something.

Organic beeswax (Have you SMELLED this shit?! Amazing.), shea butter and virgin coconut oil - combine equal parts and melt in double boiler, pour into empty containers, because you're cheap and thrifty (a winning combination, if I do say so myself) (also, because shea butter and virgin coconut oil are more expensive than one would think).


i've started to get really bitchy at people (i.e. coworkers) who make really stupid comments.

about the taco bus: i'm over that place. i mean, who knows what kind of meat you could be eating?

what? because taco fucking bell is amazing and you're sure to be served grade A beef?

about the tv show, buffy: yea, i never watched that show. it seemed too much of a "lady show" if you know what i mean.

what? because the central character was female? FUCK YOU.


On Friday, I went to the beach with my friend, and it was super fantastic! Not to mention, I took a vacation day to go there.

My birthday was Wednesday, I went to work, it was totally fine. Thursday rolled around, and I wanted to kill somebody. Downtown was filled to the brim with teenage thespians singing and cavorting in thundering herds. Rude old women asked me for directions. The cobbler still didn't have my shoes ready, after two fucking months. Also, I had to, well, be at work. Did I mention that it was a Thursday?

Anyways, I got my vacation day and spent a bit of time in the sun, recharging. I hated the beach when I was younger. It was hot, I hated getting sandy, I hated being sticky and sweaty, I disliked sunburns. That part still holds true. I will put on SPF 50 and bake. Seems counterintuitive, possibly, but tanning is't truly my objective. I think I just need the sunshine to recharge my inner zen batteries that keep me on an even keel.

Just thinking about out day makes me sigh in relaxation. This summer? More beach.

About the outfit pic - the morning we headed out, I realized I don't have a swimsuit coverup! I attempted to cut up a tank top to make one, but uhhhh, ended up looking like so much linty white trash. Then I remembered that I DID have one, I just didn't have a shelf to keep it up. Voila! Length of ribbon plus 2 safety pins.


Step 1 - Complete!

closet, now set up for 2 people's use!

i'm the kind of person who likes to do things in a certain order, so i couldn't even think about beginning to concentrate on the rest of the bedroom until the basics had been taken care of. now, it means i really have to buckle down and focus on the room - urgh. kim? let's DO THIS.


The good

At least this part of the house looks good!


Still working on that hallway

Stupid blue tape gives me agita.

More notes: not sure the bed could work diagonal with the drawers - may try it out. Am planning on painting dresser if needed. Origami stars are fantastic! Have a few pins on pinterest with similar ideas. Should round them up!!



i started an email in response to S.G.'s comment on that last craptastic image post, but then decided to just reply here instead.  i didn't really get to write all i wanted to in that last post, which was from my phone.  i just can't type well on an itty bitty cell screen, my thoughts come out all wrong - tiny and truncated, just like the screen.
so yea. 
bedroom.  pretty impressive, eh?  WE'VE LIVED HERE TWO YEARS.  pathetic doesn't even begin to describe it.
  • i like a dark bedroom, though it will make the room seem even smaller than it is - also, i like a flat paint, which, if dark, might be HELL with 2 orange cats; their fur is already coating the edges of the curtains (also, why did i buy curtains with an insanely large weave?  can we say, "kitten claws", everybody?
  • we do really like the bedframe - it's low and simple AND it has storage drawers, 4 of them; we'll keep it, maybe paint it
  • because of the storage drawers, this means we need to have bedstands that are wall-mounted.  i'm liking those open box style ones - good place to set eye glasses, books, possible water glasses and iphone/clock; will need to be sturdy enough to withstand jumping cats
  • hate to say it, but i'm now a total tv-in-the-bedroom convert; i used to fall asleep in high school on the couch with the tv on and in my parents restaurant, listening to the low murmur of voices - sometimes the tv is the best thing to fall asleep to (but low, very low volume) - just need a way to possibly hide it  :p   or at least, make it less visible from the doorway
  • the paint is definitely not staying, it's like, watered down spring green AND it overlaps onto the ceiling, which is a gloss white - it drives me insane
  • are headboards really needed?  i used to think so, but now i'm not so sure - i really like those ones made from salvaged wood; but how sturdy would they really be if one were leaning against it?  it's been a while since i've had a headboard... if ever
  • layout is a bit of an issue - i like the bed where it is, facing the door, as it seems to open the room out much, much more (regardless of what it looks like, we have actually moved things around quite a bit in that room) - the two windows throw me off, i'm thinking about just ignoring them and designing around them

 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's our bedroom.  it's so, boring and utilitarian.  first step....  layout and then... nightstands?


Pretty terrible, no?



These shitty iPhone pics will have to suffice for now! Great, no? WE LOVE IT.

Way before

I know. I suck. I'm making it up to you now.


bedroom redo

so our bedroom is pretty horrendous.
1) we found mold growing on the undersides of our dresser drawers, on that porous material that cheap furniture comes packaged with.  i'll be working to replace those with something wooden and sealed from home depot this week.
2) it's like... the crappiest bare space ever.  super uncozy - only the bed is comfy.
3) as in, nothing on the walls, holes patched with spackle...
you get the idea.  it's very sad.
goal in the next few months is to post some before pics and then try and figure out what the heck to DO with it.  please, feel free to input with ideas or yea/nay opinions.


i feel as though i am fast reaching the point at which taking the bus is just not an option for me long-term.
going to try driving tomorrow to see if i can find a spot to park in the mornings and see how much it costs (originally started taking the bus because it was cheaper, my parking lot was closing, and it was more ecological).
this whole, feeling motion sick ALL THE TIME thing is such a serious bummer.  i realized the other night, while shopping with ant, that i've started to really change the way i move all the time, so as not to trigger a headache or motion sickness.  for instance, i can't move my head or turn quickly, i have to be a little slower, because there's always this undercurrent of nausea.
not cool, my friends, not cool.


Love. It.

bad asian

*may* have over estimated the amount of tape needed....


the sims - for people who have less than full lives

it's been striking me, lately, how incredibly lame the sims games are.

i get it, people like to relax, whatever. i think it's ridiculous when people make fun of gamers who enjoy skyrim. aren't i doing the same thing?

ah, but for me, i just don't understand how the HELL people find enjoyment in balancing their fake lives. question numero uno would be: how the HELL do these people balance their *actual* lives?!
probably i'm just jealous of their free time.

i've been feeling better about what (little) i can accomplish in a night, in a week, in a weekend. i give myself 3 things to do, sometimes one of those things is "go to bed early". seriously. lame, right? and "check the air filter" seems to have traveled through my lists for about 5 days. also lame. tonight! air filter will be checked!

and with this detox diet thing, DUDE. can we talk about how much prep juicing requires? did i mention the 48 lb bag of carrots in our fridge? 2 heads of cauliflower, 6 heads of broccoli, 9 beets, celery, lemons, limes... we spent $70 at sanwa, this kind of wholesale, faux farmer's market here in tampa. the prices are *insane* awesome for our wallets.

i just watched some knife skills videos. because i realize now, i need them. tonight i will be sharpening my knifes. (maybe, it's not on my list.) this process needs to get faster, because i can't spend 3 hrs in the kitchen every night, prepping for the next day.

and, for the curious ones, it's the 28 day mind+body challenge on wholeliving.com.  no alcohol, caffeine, gluten, processed foods, dairy or added sugar. rawr - hardcore. (i'll have to cheat at virginia's bachelorette party, though, since it's over a weekend in another city.)

Blogging from the phone sucks.


Day 1

Body, de-toxify!

Or something equally granola and new age hippie. I'm doing this for a few reasons. One, to lose a tidge-y bit of weight. Two, to be in solidarity with Ant (and it's easier to do it with). Three, I like the idea of getting back to Food Zero.

I made that term up. Basically, all of week 1 is eating lots of raw or minimally cooked foods. Proteins are from oils, nuts and seeds. Then one starts adding in proteins like fish in week 2.

It's that idea that's appealing. Like those people who are all 'paleo' and shit. I really hate that term. 'Paleo'. Ugh. Food zero' is pretty bad, too.

Here we go!


An xbox in the bedroom makes a horrendous amount of noise. The fan is like a damn jet engine.

Lack of sleep + lack of coffee + cramps = a harrowing Monday.

May have to get some pho to set things to right.

Tumblr may be my new friend.



i've trying out this new site to track my life.
cons:  it's difficult to keep up with!  at least with how much water i drink - the alcohol is pretty close.
and i mean, what else to track?  what else is really important?  i've added a "work contentment level" to see how it relates to my sleep.  maybe hours of TV?  hours spent on my photography business?  (oy, that'll get me moving)
(she writes today about tracking her life, as she just posted yesterday about having too many things to do)


not really sure what i should/can keep in this little box.
received it as a travel tchotche from my boss's boss.... really?  *sigh*  i don't understand why people feel the need for such things - it's kind of unusable.  others got boxes with pens in them.  i just got a tiny box.
it seems perfect for cocaine, if i were an addict.
or maybe a singular ob tampon.  possibly 2.
you think pain pills would be safe to keep in there?
any other suggestions?
while at work, brushing my teeth in the dusky pink bathroom, i realized:
1) i need more sleep
2) i need to let go
i'm starting to feel that stress of trying to organize and control too much, of having too many projects going on at once.  photos to edit, things to knit, things to sew, drawings to complete, a house to cozy-fy.
... which is probably why i also want to cut my hair again with my trusty scissors.  control!!  I CAN CUT MY OWN HAIR!!  I CAN DO THINGS!!!
i'm afraid it might turn out badly, but i've also started to cultivate a "so what?" kind of attitude.  my shoes are frumpy and falling apart at the seams, it's just not professional!  so what?  my haircut is terrible and i look terrible and i don't wear makeup to cover my adult onset zits!  so what?
ummmm, brain fritz, not sure what my point was.
but, the good news is that i can say, "hello, how are you?" in cantonese.


just contacted an artist about a tattoo in may - excitement!