postcards from china

here's a picture of my dad while we were in china - he's standing in front of the village/family shrine. i'm going to try and post pictures up every once in a while - at least, until the storage on my yahoo page lasts...


trying to stay motivated is hard, for me at least. i find it exceedingly difficult to achieve some sort of passion about my work (and no, i don't mean my job, i mean my creative artistic side). i am constantly struggling with my obsessive compulsive perfectionistic self and i am always trying to "feel right" about my pieces - whether i feel in the right mood creating it or whether i sense the right mood while looking back on it. my work feels very immature to me.

probably the best thing would be for me to create non-stop. to churn out work without thinking on it too much. the rub lies in my "money-to-make-a-living-and-eat-job." who wants to work in a cubicle? who wants to train other employees and be asked questions all day and get stressed over that "can do" attitude? who really honestly cares about "taking that jet plane straight to the top?" planes make me motion sick.

one of my supervisors likes me. not in that creepy harrassment kind of way. more of a "you're-a-team-player!" kind of way. he cornered me in front of the coffee machines a few days ago, spouting from his lips every concievable management/team player cliché i had heard in my life (and trust me, i've heard a lot of them). the thing is, he's really a nice guy. most people who are in higher-up positions in corporate jobs give me the heebie-jeebies with their drive to achieve and do more, more, more. acquire more, more, more. more resources, more production, more movement (upwards, of course).

wow. ranting makes me feel better. my friend meaghan gave me a book a while ago, "the artist's way." the first exercise was to start what was called 'the morning pages.' a little cheesy, but the idea was to get up early (that was the part i failed at) and write 3 pages (long hand) of whatever came to mind. irritations, thoughts, ramblings, stream of consciousness. the idea was to get out all those extra thoughts molding in your mind, thoughts that were possibly and probably gagging your creativity spigot.

right, so i guess my point it: it works. : )

ok, going to play some katamari damacy.


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