from 'kafka on the shore'

i've always been a great fan of the chunichi dragons, he thought, but what are the dragons to me, anyways? say they beat the giants - how's that going to make me a better person? how could it? so why the heck have i spent all this time getting worked up like the team was some extension of myself?
...
listening to fournier's flowing, dignified cello, hoshino was drawn back to his childhood. he used to go to the river every day to catch fish. nothing to worry about back then, he reminisced. just live each day as it came. as long as i was alive, i was something. that was just how it was. but somewhere along the line it all changed. living turned me into nothing. weird... people are born in order to live, right? but the longer i've lived, the more i've lost what's inside me - and ended up empty. and i bet the longer i live, the emptier, the more worthless, i'll become. something's wrong with this picture. life isn't supposed to turn out like this! isn't it possible to shift direction, to change where i'm headed?

'kafka on the shore'
haruki murakami