true north

why is finding your way so difficult?

i’m almost 30, with a master’s degree 4 months away. (*very minor panic attack in the form of widened eyes*)

good lord, what do i want to do with my life? do i want to work here, in the public library? i’ll admit, that working with the public is an idea that slightly grates on my nerves. currently, i work in our networking department, so it’s not too bad. i have tasks. i come up against some challenges. i work on them, research them, learn sql, write code and complete them.

w00t. i just kind of get paid a piddling amount.

i would like to be more artistic. and i’m working on this. actually putting my “stuff” out there. working with my hands and making a colorful mess.

ideas that flit or have flitted through my murky mind:

• buy land and start an artistic agriturismo in italy
• buy land and start an artistic agriturismo in gainesville

i’m real good with locations (read: sarcasm). italy might not happen, but mayhaps the latter.

thoughts:
would i even LIKE being a farmer? currently my dad grows chinese fruit; not really a farm, more like an orchard

• i don’t really like harvesting from trees, so i’ve never been much of a help to him at all
• PLUS, spiders
• i don’t mind getting dirty, as long as there’s a shower
• i’ve always wanted to compost and/or have a worm house
• my success rate is maybe 60/40 with plants; is that good enough?
• health insurance… that’d be sucky to work out properly
• ironies, my parents used to own restaurants and were so happy to get out of that business
  o of course, my brother is a manager of one out in naples
  o and now i’m thinking being a farmer, JUST LIKE MY DAD
  o they always wanted us to be lawyers or doctors (HAHAHA)