this weekend i had a lovely lovely time visiting my parents and erika.
saturday was spent shopping w/ erika and eating surprisingly delicious pear & gorgonzola pizza at "cpk" (california pizza kitchen). anthropologie is the devil. overtime pay is my friend. i haven't laughed that hard w/ friends in a long long time. i actually started getting a headache from it. :) silly, i know.
had dinner w/ erika and the fam, including vincent, which was nice, since i don't always get to see him when i visit. my dad and kevin's cooking always makes me so happy. steamed chicken with that... oil, ginger, salt & scallion sauce is incredible. i MUST find a recipe for that sauce, it's divine on rice. absolutely divine.
sunday i got my hair trimmed a bit and relaxed. erika made me veggie tacos and regaled me with stories of anthropology in italy (digging, not the store).
one reason why saturday was so insane was at 'off 5th' - which is the sak's fifth ave outlet store. it's mostly crappy, unfortunately. or maybe it was the day we went. in any caes, i found this cute skirt by theory. ok, i know *nothing* about "fashion designers," but there wasn't anything special about this skirt except that it was pleated and was a plaid print. simple cotton. it was on "sale" for $27.... but it was originally $270. TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY DOLLARS. true insanity. my mind could not grasp this, seeing as how the skirt wasn't even lined; you could still see the serger seams! wtf. was it blessed by the pope? sprinkled w/ holy urinal water? i just don't get it.
in any case, i tried it on, struggling the whole time w/ the original cost of the skirt. i also tried on a beautiful dress w/ matte sequins on it - you know, wedding dress "research." i come out and the thing is huge. it's just too big. this ribbon belt thing, which is attached, is kinda loose and hanging.
(enter saleswoman, stage left)
me (talking to erika): hmm... this looks bad. ... i think it's just too big. eck.
erika: hm, yea, i agree. is that belt thing supposed to hang?
(i back into the dressing room about to shut the door. saleswoman approaches door.)
saleswoman: you know, you should ask your mom, ...or maybe your boyfriend... to get you... you know... (cups hands in front of her breasts and makes exaggerated breast motions)
me: ?? BREAST IMPLANTS??
saleswoman: yea! ...don't you want them?
me: uhh... no. (looks disturbed, horrified, incredulous and mostly incredibly disgusted)(also imply the emphasized word "fuck" in front of the negatory answer)
saleswoman: oh. i do.
(i let the door shut, though erika later asks, "did you mean to slam the door?")
obviously, i end up not buying the skirt, though $270 does seem to allow theory to make a nice skirt that fits well.
i sit in the chair outside my little dressing room and rant to erika - i think the saleswoman is further from the dressing room door than she apparently is.
rant rant rant! wtf! ask my mom?? my boyfriend? if i even wanted them, which no way i do... i'd just buy 'em myself! my mom??? good grief. i'm probably older than she is! (she looks old, but that's because her hair is sadly color fried and she is wearing a lot of foundation which, in a pitiful way, overly creases her face.)
she ends up coming in and apologizing and tries to make nice. as erika says, probably so i don't complain and get her fired.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
it was a very sad encounter. if i had been younger, i would have been really upset. yes, my breast-estes are tiny. it took me a long time to be ok w/ that. now, i feel more sorry for the saleswoman than anything else. what kind of world do people live in where superficiality is what will make them happy?
{edit: well, i guess, really, we're all superficial on some level. i like pretty fabrics and looking good. i guess i feel that having plastic surgery to alter your breast size isn't to make you happy, not on a deep level at least. when you come right down to it, it's ideally to fit into the "society" of fashion mags and pornos. you want to look like a woman a man would want to rut with. ... ew. and that's just sad.}
4 comments:
You had quite the weekend! Friends + family = good times rolling.
Let's start with Theory.
Your hunches are right - it's nothing special.
Moving on:
Off 5th sales girl.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
No she didn't...!
Wow - despite everything, it makes one of the best stories I've heard in a really long time.
I would not have been able to hold back the anger. She would have been crying and leaving work by the time I was finished with her.... errr I wish I were there. I mean it is one thing to think bad things about your own body... we all do in some minor way, but to say something to someone else like that... to our beautiful Miss Kim at that.... err karma will get her. I wish all the girls who want to get breast implants could walk in my shoes for a while. Shirts never fit right, buttons pop off, and running is soooo much harder. I feel we should add a program in highschool with that one class that you have to wear the fake baby belly, but it will be strap on fake boobs at actual weight of the size they wish they could have. I promise their back would hurt in two days and they would be like this is so not worth it.
I bet you have the prettiest, most perfect breasts ever.
Crazy saleslady.
oh my goodness, that was the funniest thing i've read in awhile. if some random saleslady asked me if i was considering breast implants.... oh man, i'd create a sceeeeene... just for the hell of it.
but that's because i'm a shit, and that's the kind of weird BS i pull for sick personal amusement. :)
---MB
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