ok. so i started to write this rant and then decided against it. i'll give the gist of it here.

it's often annoying when people think you're young and then treat you differently when they realize you're 10 yrs old than they thought you were.

it's definitely annoying when people objectify you and the only 2 conversations they can have is 1. you are so thin! or 2. here, have a cookie.
that was satisfying. i think i had previously gotten most of my rant out of the way earlier.

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i've heard of a study that women are more prone to hating their jobs when they don't get enough sleep. the adverse being that they wouldn't have so much job dissatisfaction if they got enough sleep.

... last night i went to bed at 10:30 and i can say w/ authority that the study was a bunch of crock and that besides being more awake, the day is crawling by.

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classes have begun and i'm taking basic information sources & services and techincal services in small libraries. BRING ON THE EXCITEMENT!! YEA BUDDY! :)

also, the reading. oof!

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anthony and i watched nightwatch last night. really good film! i like it because it didn't hold you hand throughout the entire movie. i hate when movies babystep you through every single thing, explaining in painful detail. having said that, i think sometimes it bordered on the too-artsy-unexplained.

watch it, maybe you'll see what i mean.

curious

ok, so i'm overhearing some people at work talking. they always always get chinese food for lunch, at least 3 times a week. it always smells so good.

today, the delivery is really late and i overhear a woman say, "those chinese people need to get themselves over here, quick!"

... i don't know how i feel about this. maybe i'm overly sensitive, but perhaps that's only culled from years of racial mocking in elementary and middle school.

if i were to order "soul food" and say, "those black people need to get over here quick!" or from the jerk hut, "those black jamaican people need to get my food over here" - i wonder how they would feel.

just looking for opinions here, because i'm not sure i can be objective. it just doesn't sound right, perhaps it was the tone of her voice.

monday madness

ok, some exciting things that have been going on that i've neglected to note:

• michie & scott have gotten engaged! it was a while ago, but it involved a long drive out to the country-like area, a farm, a diy bouquet of flowers and sweat. sweat from a hot-temperature-heat kind of way and not a hot *ahem* kind of way. i'm sure they saved that for later. in the air conditioning.
• tickets for chicago have been bought - and only $119! we're going at the end of october - i'm so excited! i've never been there, but have always wanted to move there. so this is like, "research." {btw, was informed by jen that it's not only called the "windy city" because of the wind, it's because of all the windy politicians.}
• i applied for a full-time library assistant position. oh, how i hope i get it! and hopefully they'll give me a pay close to what i make now. because truly, my job is sucking the life from me. slowly, surely, inexorably.
• library asst requirements: typing test results: needed 70 keystrokes a min, can type 200 keystrokes a minute. written test results: needed 60/100, got 87/100. that test was harder than i thought it would be! analogies and math and grammar! crazy - it was like taking a standardized test.
• my good friend from high school and his wife & his beagle, shajan & tina & watson, moved to tampa! i love love love when friends move closer to me.
• crafting out loud this sunday was hot and muggy and sticky after the warm florida rains. thankfully, framboise lambic on tap kept us cool cool cool. afterwards, jen & brian came over for some 'v for vendetta' action. during one of the protest scenes, they used real footage that said on one sign, "bush you're a f*cking..." the rest was cut off. HA!

check out these awesome pics of the bbq last last weekend. : )

this dog weighs more than me - 170 lbs!

tonk is a bull mastiff! ruff! he'd eat our kitties alive. but only because he wanted to play, he's the biggest puppy at heart w/ the most adorable jowlies. a little drool-y though.

this is their other baby, harley, a great dane.

mm... much fun was had and insanely good and delicious steak was ingested.

more god stories

oD     oD     oD     oD     oD     oD  >-|o   --(aieee!)
     oD     oD     oD     oD     oD

a poem, by anthony

 oO  oO  oO  oO
oO  oO  oO  oO

i was walking down the beach alone, but there were 2 sets of footprints in the sand.. but jesus was eaten by a shark and now there is only one set of footprints

these weekends are never long enough.

at least i got to:
- go to the aquarium w/ laura & dan. and now i want to go to the ga aquarium, which is the largest in the world, both in size and in water capacity. they have 4 whale sharks! wtf!
- do some laundry (oh, be still my beating heart!)
- have a bbq at anthony's brother's new house. his grill is immense. one could easily live inside of it!
- see anthony's brother's dogs, which are also immense. seriously huge. tonka weighs about 170 lbs! i'll post pics tonight hopefully.
- finish second robot bag for tits

monday/tuesday shuffle-uff-a-gus

• the collapse crept up slowly, like the sunlight through the shutters, as we looked back in regret - red sparrowes, at the soundless dawn
• stanley kubrick - mogwai, ep+2
• departure of hope - emery reel, ...for and acted upon through diversions
• connections - criteria, when we break
• radio - christie front drive, stereo
• the next big thing - pop unknown, the august division
• now i do - christie front drive, anthology
• too young - nat king cole
• - - pelican, the fire in our throats will beckon the thaw
• eyes blind - cosine
• water your hands - aloha, here comes everyone
• july - mineral, the power of failing

madge's posts prod my sleepy brain

i have an exceedingly limited memory.

maybe it's because i'm selfish, because i live in the now. either way, it can cause ample frustration.

my childhood is a blur. and by childhood, i mean birth to 6th or 7th grade. zero to twelve or thirteen.

let's see how much i can remember:

• earliest memory is of my mother. we are in china and i am on the floor; she is getting her palms read. i am really really young, maybe 2. i remember the color red.
• the smell of the kindergarden mats my class would nap on. the sound of the room as i would try to fall asleep. trying to fall asleep w/o a pillow, which made my body seem to fall in weird angled ways.
• that pink flouride mouthwash! ugh! and we would all fake swishing it in our mouths by pretending to pour it into our mouths, then smooshing paper towels into the little cup to quickly soak that crap up.
• when they would do lice searches, those little sticks would feel so soothing on my scalp. and i liked the way they crunched when broken.
• i'm pretty sure i stole a book from the book fair by putting it in my pants. and i remember the thin feel of the colored newsprint they would print the book fair catalog on.
• russell in elementary school. i'm pretty sure he had a mullet. he used to tease me so i would whip him w/ my hair which was often braided in a ponytail down my back.
• calvin had a last name at the end of the alphabet, like mine. how i hated to square dance with him in music class!
• my mom used to pack little notes for me in my lunchbox, folded like little pinwheels. also, pickles in a bag. i freaking loved pickles. still do.
• one of our babysitters used to lock us up if we didn't eat her split pea soup, which was NASTY. to this day, i have a really hard time eating peas. she would make us take naps on a down mattress, which sounds lovely, but was actually super itchy. i would feel with my fingers for the little feather nubs and pull out as many feathers as i was surreptitiously able and hide them under the mattress in pea-hating spite.
  

some songs from the ipod and not last.fm (username: gimchi)

• she's always there - trembling blue stars, her handwriting
• i slept w/ bonhomme at the cbc - broken social scene, feel good lost
• thermostat - aloha, here comes everyone
• sugar water - her space holiday, home is where you hang yourself
• toy gun anthem - boy sets fire, the day the sun went out SKIPPED
• panic - the smiths, louder than bombs
• blacking out the friction - death cab for cutie, the photo album
• all the umbrellas in london - the magnetic fields, get lost
• the bagman's gambit - the decemberists, picaresque
• perfect on paper - her space holiday, manic expressive
• a fate delivered - the appleseed cast, perregrine
• the-lived-but-yet-named - karate, unsolved
• colossus - red room cinema, new ep
• nel blu dipinto di blu - domenico modugno
• instr 1 - seven storey mountain, dividing by zero
• the last days of a tragic allegory - saxon shore, be a bright blue
• phone call - yann tiersen, amelie
• his sailing days are over but he can't forget the sea - the timeout drawer, a difficult future
• until we meet again - seldom, romance
• magic dance - david bowie
• superheroes of bmx - mogwai, government comissions
• bicycle - queen
• 16.12 - mono, walking cloud and deep red sky, flag fluttered and the sun shined
• decorate the spine - knapsack, day three of my new life
• hanging on a thread - pop unknown, if arsenic fails, try algebra

erika's movie selection on myspace

"Down here it's our time! It's our time down here!"

It's hard to name favorites, but I can say with certainty that I will not enjoy a movie in which an actor deals with an emotionally-charged situation by splashing water on his face, then staring at his reflection pensively in the mirror.

Or any movie with Julia Stiles.

If ever a movie is created in which Julia stiles splashes water on her face, let that day be my last.

mom, can i have breast implants?

this weekend i had a lovely lovely time visiting my parents and erika.

saturday was spent shopping w/ erika and eating surprisingly delicious pear & gorgonzola pizza at "cpk" (california pizza kitchen). anthropologie is the devil. overtime pay is my friend. i haven't laughed that hard w/ friends in a long long time. i actually started getting a headache from it. :) silly, i know.

had dinner w/ erika and the fam, including vincent, which was nice, since i don't always get to see him when i visit. my dad and kevin's cooking always makes me so happy. steamed chicken with that... oil, ginger, salt & scallion sauce is incredible. i MUST find a recipe for that sauce, it's divine on rice. absolutely divine.

sunday i got my hair trimmed a bit and relaxed. erika made me veggie tacos and regaled me with stories of anthropology in italy (digging, not the store).

one reason why saturday was so insane was at 'off 5th' - which is the sak's fifth ave outlet store. it's mostly crappy, unfortunately. or maybe it was the day we went. in any caes, i found this cute skirt by theory. ok, i know *nothing* about "fashion designers," but there wasn't anything special about this skirt except that it was pleated and was a plaid print. simple cotton. it was on "sale" for $27.... but it was originally $270. TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY DOLLARS. true insanity. my mind could not grasp this, seeing as how the skirt wasn't even lined; you could still see the serger seams! wtf. was it blessed by the pope? sprinkled w/ holy urinal water? i just don't get it.

in any case, i tried it on, struggling the whole time w/ the original cost of the skirt. i also tried on a beautiful dress w/ matte sequins on it - you know, wedding dress "research." i come out and the thing is huge. it's just too big. this ribbon belt thing, which is attached, is kinda loose and hanging.

(enter saleswoman, stage left)

me (talking to erika): hmm... this looks bad. ... i think it's just too big. eck.

erika: hm, yea, i agree. is that belt thing supposed to hang?

(i back into the dressing room about to shut the door. saleswoman approaches door.)

saleswoman: you know, you should ask your mom, ...or maybe your boyfriend... to get you... you know... (cups hands in front of her breasts and makes exaggerated breast motions)

me: ?? BREAST IMPLANTS??

saleswoman: yea! ...don't you want them?

me: uhh... no. (looks disturbed, horrified, incredulous and mostly incredibly disgusted)(also imply the emphasized word "fuck" in front of the negatory answer)

saleswoman: oh. i do.

(i let the door shut, though erika later asks, "did you mean to slam the door?")

obviously, i end up not buying the skirt, though $270 does seem to allow theory to make a nice skirt that fits well.

i sit in the chair outside my little dressing room and rant to erika - i think the saleswoman is further from the dressing room door than she apparently is.

rant rant rant! wtf! ask my mom?? my boyfriend? if i even wanted them, which no way i do... i'd just buy 'em myself! my mom??? good grief. i'm probably older than she is! (she looks old, but that's because her hair is sadly color fried and she is wearing a lot of foundation which, in a pitiful way, overly creases her face.)

she ends up coming in and apologizing and tries to make nice. as erika says, probably so i don't complain and get her fired.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

it was a very sad encounter. if i had been younger, i would have been really upset. yes, my breast-estes are tiny. it took me a long time to be ok w/ that. now, i feel more sorry for the saleswoman than anything else. what kind of world do people live in where superficiality is what will make them happy?

{edit: well, i guess, really, we're all superficial on some level. i like pretty fabrics and looking good. i guess i feel that having plastic surgery to alter your breast size isn't to make you happy, not on a deep level at least. when you come right down to it, it's ideally to fit into the "society" of fashion mags and pornos. you want to look like a woman a man would want to rut with. ... ew. and that's just sad.}

fingers in the raw

i've been sewing like a little busy bee as of late! and on an ebay buying craze. that site is deadly dangerous, i say. deadly. dangerous.

ipod case and thick thick interfacing? check!
4" zippers?
::struggles:: no... not.. just... yet......... must... resist... allure of ebay...

urgh.

new little pouches - i am totally in love w/ that fruit/vegetable print. it's even better in person, because the colors are little whack here. it's such a deep deep green blue. delicious and growing. and i colored in those little flowers myself! red & teal are apparently "in."


the gift i'm bringing to erika tomorrow - one of the robot bags i started AGES ago!




i love that i can actually post this here w/o fear of her seeing it. she's predictable like that. though i do owe her a hugely loving erika-post since i crapped out on visiting her last weekend... eep! hope she hasn't been sneaking about on the internets...

here are some old pics from the.... july crafting out loud show:


me w/ my buddha latte. sweetened condensed milk is fucking amazing in coffee. you can see my pouches in the middle, star's old skool toaster covers to the right and some of rachel's little wooden paintings on the left.


there's jen on the left, talking to yen, who makes beautiful, beautiful jewelry. and those are jen's books and journals!


star, with her plethora of shiny record bowls - i think one of those is elton john.

wtf - no pics of rachel?? note to self: bring camera next time.


i have also been completely obsessed with tracking what i am listening to. thanks madge! she recently commented that i should "do this everyday." so that's what i do. every day. at work. i figure this could get *really* boring, *REALLY* fast, so i had to curb my list today. also because it was huge.

wait a minute.

wait a minute..........

HAHAHA! you thought you were getting away? i don't think so.

listening to:

• terry gross interview w/ gene simmons (via unauthorized audio on wikipedia)
• the rollercoaster ride - belle & sebastian, the boy w/ the arab strap
• gasoline - the new year, newness ends
• don't talk (put your head on my shoulder) - the beach boys, pet sounds (skipped halfway thru)
• ugly - pond, rock collection
• matinee idol - rufus wainwright, rufus wainwright
• i hope for tumbleweeds - chin up chin up, we should have never lived like we were skyscrapers
• the silence of underwater traffic - the cancer conspiracy, the audio medium
• aurora - bjork, vespertine
• ambulance for the ambiance - broken social scene, beehive
• rookie - boy sets fire, after the eulogy
• you too song - errortype:11, amplified to rock
• my mother was a chinese trapeze artist - the decemberists, five songs
• broken - audio learning center, friendships often fade away
• new clear saturday - jejune, this afternoon's malady
• bb mineral-love my way - mineral, &Serenading 7"
• water your hands - aloha, here comes everyone
• junk bond trader - elliott smith, figure 8
• the other side - the dismemberment plan, change
• lebanese blonde - thievery corporation, garden state
• this hits home - the mercury program, the mercury program
• track 05 (?) - the casket lottery
• convict - the appleseed cast, low level owl: volume 1
• break in the new year - cursive, the storms of early summer

i logged into my computer thru citrix.


i am a nerd.

half-asleep w/ nescafe dribbling out of my mouth

subliminal

Affair :: to remember
Package :: ebay
Warner :: bros
Drop :: add
Balance :: too low
Shore :: ship
Confirmation :: religion
Nose :: shiny
Talking :: head
Bend :: -er

Italy :: firenze
Honk :: nose
Shades :: hammock
Tool :: jigsaw
Modern :: museum
Tension :: teeth
Conservative :: arghhhhhhhh
Weight :: round
Insurance :: work work work
Political :: depressing

only tuesday. wtf.

oh, nescafe, beautiful, delicious, creamy liquid of the asian gods... enter my bloodstream quickly and work your magic. unsleepify my mind, remove the hard crusts of sleep from the crevasseseses of my brain and please please please don't let me fall asleep at my desk at work.

• michael - franz ferdinand, franz ferdinand
• breathing lessons - penfold, amateurs and professionals
• helicon 1 - mogwai, ten rapid
• patent on the better - engine down, to bury within the sound
• non-shuffle mode:
• works cited - candy bars
• violets - candy bars
• landscape - candy bars
• the flood in your town - candy bars
• away we drift - elliott, photorecording
• blessed by your own ghost - elliott, photorecording
• 100,000 fireflies - the magnetic fields, distant plastic trees

do the shuffle!

• golden porsche - mogwai, happy songs for happy people
• don't forbid me - pat boone
• opiate slopes - tristeza, dream signals in full circles
• gasoline - karate, karate
• end - mogwai, ten rapid
• bluebird - boilermaker, boilermaker
• perry como gold - aloha, here comes everyone
• airplane - the album leaf, an orchestrated rise to fall
• home movies - camber, anyways, i've been there
• misery is a butterfly - blonde redhead, misery is a butterfly
• bitter strings - the jealous sound, the jealous sound
• glasgow mega-snake - mogwai, mr. beast

play by play on the lord's day

wake up wine-groggy
make pancakes and boiled eggs for brekkie for me, ant & virginia
eat and watch band of brothers
shopping w/ virginia - anthropologie and the international plaza, eating at evos between locations
home again home again jiggity jig
upstairs to check something online
notice that ant has been looking at high def lcd televisions
"oh no he didn't."
grab at the best buy receipt laying on the bed & note that only 2 dvds were bought - special edition blackhawk down & special edition dr strangelove
"whew."
start making dinner w/ virginia
notice ant's car pulling up
notice ant's car backing into the parking space
note that he only does that when he needs to unload something
"oh no he didn't."

oh yes, he did. so now we have a beautiful lcd high def television. *laugh* the boy cannot control his instant gratification.

the morning shuffle

• airport - karate, some boots
• a century of elvis - belle & sebastian, push barman to open old wounds
• forever longing the golden sunset - the appleseed cast, mare vitalis
• ::skipped halfway thru:: move in time - white octave, menergy
• the sea of broken dreams - vitesse, a certain hostility
• ::skipped halfway thru:: katamari love (ending theme) - yohihito yano, sh...., katamari fortissi...
• deathly - aimee mann, bachelor no. 2
• no sign of life - ok go, oh no
• carne levare - the new year, newness ends
• exalted in the technique of homocide - red room cinema, underwater fight...

time consumption is very high

this is what's been taking up all my time.

girlfriend sweatshop. and i'm not even creating!! argh.

it's interesting learning about css and html.

but um... i actually don't like the site as much anymore. that's what you get for not starting out w/ some sort of vision.

::big sigh::

well, it'll be done for friday, which is when the tbt article comes out on us. so that's the impt thing. right?